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Hello, I'm Michele

I'm glad we're in contact.

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MY LATEST NEWS JANUARY 2014
My first eBook is now available for Kindle on Amazon for $3.99 USD. 

It's called 'This Is No Ordinary Stress Test: It can be your path to peace'.

You don't need an e-reader. You can download to read on your computer or smartphone.

There's a free extract on Amazon, or scroll down to read an extract below.
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I have set up this site to share with you lots of information and ideas from almost thirty years as a Stress Management Consultant and Counselling Psychologist. For the last eleven years I had my own practice and seminar centre. I closed my practice for a 'free-change' to writer.

Heading this site I am saying that 'stress lessens as self-understanding grows'. How can I be so confident that your stress level will drop as you get to know your self better? Simple ... Knowledge is power. Here's the bottomline on stress, and all of my writing recognizes this:

Stress is a sense of personal powerlessness.

All stress? Yes, all stress. Personal powerlessness is experienced to varying degrees as hostility, frustration and a sense of lost control, or as weakness, anxiety, hopelessness and despair.

So, what to do next? 

Get to know your self better. 

The more you understand about your self, the more personal power you will feel and the less stress you will experience in your daily life. 

You'll soon be surprised how true this is.

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I hope you'll find these articles helpful:
Your Stress Explained - What Have You Got to Lose?
Here's the bottom line: Stress is commonly the response to the threat of loss. It's mostly the threat of loss of perceived personal power. Question: Why do you need power in your life? Answer: To power you through life. 
Any threat of losing any of your power, in whatever form you personally believe you hold it, is where your stress begins. This is the first article in a series of two: 'Your Stress Explained'. Read article
The second article is 'Your Stress Explained - What Power do you hold?

*****   FREE AUDIO  *****

If you'd like to listen to a 10 minute audio in which I read both articles in the series, click here

Super Simple Stress Releasers That Are Natural and Free

We humans are beautifully designed. When stress builds up in the system, there are many natural ways to let it go. Here are seven natural stress releasers that we're all very familiar with: sighing, laughing, crying, yelling, burping, sneezing and yawning, plus there's one other way we know that works extremely well to bring our stress levels instantly down.

Unfortunately, in our busy daily lives we can override our instinct to release accumulated stress. When stress builds up in the system we can consciously choose to hold it in. As a result we can generate stress-related illnesses and force our bodies to age prematurely. Read article

You're Frantic for Stress Relief . . . But Are You Afraid To Go Into Alpha?

What is the alpha brain state and why is it so vital to our everyday well being? In this article, an experienced mental health mentor explains what alpha involves and why she believes many people may be scared to go there. Read article




Welcome

 

What would you expect to find in an ordinary stress test?

Probably some sort of measuring device. And after you’d done the test and scored how stressed you were, then you may well expect a list of clever strategies and tactics you could put in place, to next time bring your score as close to zero as you could get it. You’d then be able to prove to yourself that now your stress was  under good control.

Problem of stress?

Fixed.

For the time at hand at least.

Well, this is no ordinary stress test. It could well be cause for self-contentment. This could mean that by the time you’ve got to the end of this eBook and thought about the ideas in it, the thought to test your stress––or test or challenge yourself on anything that troubles you––may simply cease to cross your mind.

Well, at least way less often than it does these days. And when it does, it’s stressful, yes?

Well, I think that’s all about to change. It’s time to forget about the ‘wrongs’ in your life that seem to bring you down and leave you feeling stressed out to the max. And at times, completely powerless. Exhausting stuff!

It’s time to focus on wellbeing, on truly being well. Not well as in ‘well and good’ and on the way to more improvement in yourself, but simply as in ‘happy and well, just the way you are’. Here and now. Today.

What if you came to the realization that you are fine the way you are? Can you sense the ease you’d feel in knowing this? (Or is it just too far beyond the current reach of your imagination for you to be able to imagine it?)

I’ll give you information to help you realize this liberating thought. Then, by way of your realizing and believing it, I hope to help you see this new belief come into effect. And then you’ll start to live a lighter life, where stress is an occasional occurrence, rather than a dark, heavy problem that can really weigh you down and leave you feeling powerless to not only change your life today, but also to create a more relaxed tomorrow for yourself.

 

 

Michele Bolitho

2 December 2013


 

 

 

 

Stress makes perfect sense.

Stress has clever purpose.


 

Chapter 1

 

What do we typically do when we don’t understand a subject, such as stress? We tackle it and try to get on top of it. When we’re on top of something that’s been troubling us and getting us down, we can feel a sense of triumph and relief.

With a troubling subject such as stress, believing that knowledge is power, we try to become more powerful by acquiring more and more knowledge about it. At some level however, I believe we know deep down, if we are willing to be so honest with ourselves, that information-gathering is not the same as gaining understanding. We can get so much knowledge in terms of facts and figures, and expert opinion, yet still feel we’re in the dark––just better informed, that’s all.

You’re reading this because you’ve identified stress as a ‘problem area’ in your daily life, yes? and you want to learn ways to eliminate it.

Skilled instructors will teach us how to identify the stressors or stress-provoking stimuli in our lives, which we routinely respond to with a stress response. It can appear then, that all we have to do next is to target, tackle and combat these troublesome stressors and our stress will likewise go away. In other words, when we have successfully overcome and eliminated the causes we have intellectually identified, the stress response effect will no longer occur.

At an action level, this popular strategy can work well for a while. We may for instance, by analysing daily life, identify as the stress-provoking enemy a lack of ‘me time’. Or a loss of work life/home life balance. Or put more analytically: inappropriate personal time management.

That’s the enemy which must be tackled. That’s the problem which perpetuates imbalance and makes an easy work/home mix impossible. That’s the problem we have to beat. That then is the major stressor we need to focus on and take proper charge of, for the heavy load of stress that we can feel we’re under, to be effectively reduced. To be completely eliminated, ideally.

We may then quite conscientiously, reschedule. We’ll cut back on hours spent with stressful deadlines at work. We’ll deliberately choose to spend more time relaxing with the family. With our own life, we have to feel that we’re in charge again, then stress should go away.

We may subsequently get doctor’s advice that our blood pressure has come down, therefore giving us quantifiable proof that we’re experiencing less stress. Sure feels better now.

Tackling and controlling stress in this way has obviously produced a successful outcome. But such success can be superficial and short-term. We soon find out that it’s not enough to make a life-changing difference.

Stress can then build up again and the burden of it all can start to get us down again. We must now try to identify more stressors to tackle and eliminate. Now for combating chronic stress, we need new strategies. And so it goes . . .

Typically, the exploration of the subject of stress in our lives doesn’t go any deeper.

And here I don’t mean ‘deeper’ as in digging and delving into the past to find deeply hidden stressors, like a traumatic childhood event or a deep core belief, inherited unconsciously from a stressed-out parent (or two stressed-out parents) that’s unconsciously sustaining our anxiety. An inherited, stress-provoking belief like this perhaps: No matter how hard I work, I will never have enough money.

Rather than digging deeper into darkness from the past, I mean going deeper into an understanding of the fundamental workings of one’s self.

 

When I was running my practise as a counselling psychologist, I used as my logo and what was called my ‘mission’: For new perspectives on old problems. I’ve written this eBook to help you get some new perspectives on the old problem of stress in your life.

My approach has always been to help in the gaining of insights into a person’s relationship with their own self. You may not have given much attention, if any, to the idea of having a relationship with your own self, but as I see it, your relationship with yourself is the most significant and influential relationship in your entire life. It simply can’t not be.

From birth to death, no-one gets to live with you twenty-four-seven as you do with your own self. It makes a lot of sense then, yes? to focus on this essential  relationship. And besides, despite any effort you may put into trying to change another person, such as trying to change the pushy, stressful way that they’ve been treating you, you can’t. (And you truly have no right to, anyway.)

And if you successfully eliminate one stressor by putting your attention, time and effort into stress-reducing strategies, soon there’ll be another one to tackle. Have you noticed?

But with a willingness to explore what’s going on with your own self, changes can come about that will make your life happier, more easy-going and better balanced. One welcome outcome in your expanded sense of well-being and aliveness, will be a significant—and lasting—reduction in stress.

 

To bring you most benefit, I plan that this book be inter-active. But inter-active in quite a different way to what you probably imagined when you first saw Stress Test in the title.

There’s no traditional testing or scoring. There’s no evaluating or working out of worth. It’s test as in investigate, study and then discover, or what I used to call in the courses I created in personal development: exploring inner space. It’s not test as in judge the extent of, put on trial and maybe then condemn, or try best to defend.

In what you read, you’ll be coming across questions from me to you, like: Have you noticed? and Can you recognize this now? I hope these instances will work for you like contemplation points, because if you don’t get what I am getting at, then what follows is not going to mean so much to you.

For you personally, it won’t carry the power that it could, to aid you in your deeper, broader, higher understanding of the workings of your self. It won’t be so effective to let you let yourself relax and allow peace and contentment into your life. And feel more happiness––more happiness in simply being you, and in finding out that life is fuller than you’d always thought, simply because you yourself are more open to it, and you easily let more of life in.

Contentment is essentially a satisfying sense of full. It’s an easy sense of plenty which is much more than enough. Peace means no more inner battles, or feeling that you’re ‘up against’ yourself and could well come out the loser.

Peace means the absence of inner conflict. And that’s just the welcome beginning of what inner peace can mean.  There’s so much more for us to realise in this life. To do that, everyone is able I believe. The important question for your contemplation now, is: Are you willing?

Would you like to read more? . . . . Click or tap here.



   2014 Michele Bolitho Canberra 
ACT Australia
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